"Be yourself with your body; remember your body is your personal barometer."

fear of shopping

With the rising focus on women taking back their power and promoting the acceptance of every body type in today’s culture, one of the popular techniques promoted by the leaders of the movement is to look into a full length mirror in the morning and come up with three nice things to tell yourself, your body, your BFF.

After practicing the Body Knowledge System® for a short time, it’s easy to get past the resentment you feel when looking at individual parts that used to frustrate you by their appearance. Why? Because the Body Knowledge System® is a holistic approach to your place in the world and discourages any judgment on particulars.

Yours or anyone else’s.

By trying to conform to what others’ believe to compliment, we are falling back into the “Barbie Doll” mentality of feminine beauty popular in the last century. The cultural pressure caused so much pain for all of us who attempted to live up to the impossible dream of re-shaping ourselves to a doll who, if real, would be a freak of nature, it’s past time to enter the 21st Century.

So what are your three sincere compliments today when you see yourself in the mirror this morning?

The Body Knowledge System® doesn’t restrict this technique to a full-length mirror, as you know what your body looks like, so any mirror that reflects you will do. For instance, even on a bad hair day, the color becomes you. Plus, your smile always inspires a positive response. And last, but not least, that indication of you as a happy, positive person always gets your day off to a good, no great start!

That’s body confidence!


Before posting a selfie on your Instagram account, do you do so with a specific number of “likes” in your mind to satisfy your need for approval?

If not, why not?

Because for some of us, there can never be enough likes to make us happy, for others of us, we move on before considering the consequences to our body confidence if the number does not equal our expectations…and for practitioners of the body knowledge system, other people’s opinions of our appearance or skill in selfie-taking are irrelevant to how we feel about ourselves.

When that happens, you and your body can take a bow on your next selfie portrait.

Body Knowledge System® is the long-lasting body confidence builder for too many reasons to list here. However, when you learn to befriend your body and renew that friendship with your BFF daily, you are never without body confidence.

The next time you post a selfie on Facebook, or Instagram, notice if your next thought is to check the “likes” later if it is, it’s past time to renew that most precious relationship with your BFF, your body.


The simplicity of social media kind of defeats the purpose of creating meaningful relationships between us. There are only two choices for a response to a post: thumbs up or thumbs down, “likes”?

When there’s a posting about a tragedy regardless of the beauty of the writing, the sincere feelings conveyed, when you click “like” what is the meaning behind that? Exactly…?

Are you “liking” the actual tragic event and its aftermath?

Probably not.

What’s there to “like” about it?

Without commentary specifically pointing out what you support in the message, your “like” is a waste of time, and downright insulting to the poster as well as the victims of the event.

That is an extreme example of what’s amiss about the whole social media emphasis on quantity over quality. Advertisers base their rates on the quantity of “likes” without any consideration for the quality, if any, behind the product.

People are NOT products.

“Like” is too general a word to have any specific quality attached to it, so our reaction depends on the quantity of the “compliment.” Even when it may not be a compliment after all.

So why does social media encourage us to consider the number of “likes” a plus, a boost to our ego, a validation of the post, when the intention behind the “likes” may have nothing positive associated with the click.

Body Confidence is always about quality, never about quantity.


When you post a picture, an article, or a comment how do you feel when you receive “likes”?

How do you feel when there are no “likes”?

Or the thumbs down outnumber the thumbs up?

And what possible difference does it make in either case?

Five minutes later are you a different person?


What if you never see them?

Or if no one tells you about them?

Five minutes later are you a different person?

Ignorance is bliss, particularly when you posted simply to express yourself with no expectations of a response.

With body confidence, those of you who participate in social media do so to share your life with your family, friends, and interested acquaintances, or like-minded others on social media. If that’s your intention, their responses are irrelevant, as they should be.

Body confidence guides you to post positive images, articles, and links that are meaningful to you. It’s definitely not about others’ responses to your postings.

It’s only about what is important to you and your BFF, your body.


Q: What’s the difference between a pit bull and a woman in menopause?

A: Lipstick


Jokes around women’s behavior during menopause are funny, because they’re so true! Ok, we can laugh at the punchline, even though menopause is far worse psychologically than a punch in the gut.

The reasons for that are mostly cultural: our obsession with youth, thinness, and photoshopped female role models.

To ease the transition, call on your BFF.

Your body, your BFF is always available to restore your sense of humor as well as the confidence you feel in the woman you have become.

How often have you said or thought, “If I knew then what I know now, I’d…” fill in the dots of what you ‘should’ have done, said, or thought.

With the onset of menopause, congratulations are in order:

* You have survived!

* You have arrived! And as soon as you get in touch with your body you’ll admit

*You have thrived!

If you’re not feeling it, Contact Coach Stephanie to learn how to regain that Body Confidence that began at birth and will be a part of your daily life as soon as you renew your relationship with your BFF, your body.


Through your body knowledge, a custom version of the Body Knowledge System®.


hot flash

My USTA Tennis team was called the Hot Flashes! And we won our local, regional, and state competitions, only to come in 2nd or maybe it was 3d, (hahaha, memory loss is a symptom of the change of life, or so they tell me) in the Southwest!

The Body Knowledge System® belongs in Menopause, too!

Women enter the change of life at all ages due to genetics, chemotherapy, hysterectomy. The transition is either sudden as is usually the case with surgery or other medical intervention or progressive over a decade or two. The result is the same: loss of hormones creates physical discomfort in many, but not all women.

Those physical changes are real, your reactions to them are valid. Some of those reactions are psychological, some are behavioral, but ALL begin within your body.

If you haven’t re-established the open relationship you began with your body before birth, it’s not too late. (In fact, it’s NEVER TOO LATE!)

This might be the ideal time to share your feelings with the body that produces the hormones that affect those feelings!

Find out more how your body will help you through this transition: Contact Coach Stephanie today to get your body knowledge system to maintain the body confidence prior to peri-menopause…

Dance freely

From the experts, “Intrinsic motivation refers to motivation that is driven by an interest or enjoyment in the task itself, and exists within the individual rather than relying on any external pressure.” or extrinsic motivation, i.e. awards, promotions, money, status symbols. (

Unlike the intrinsic motivation, an essential component of the Body Knowledge System®, extrinsic motivation is always about competition with others. Studies prove that extrinsic motivation provides short-term rewards without long-lasting positive effects.

Let’s look at weight management programs: The ones that work have intrinsic motivation to inspire the user to lose or gain the weight he or she desires. To avoid the Yo-yo syndrome familiar to all of us who have tried to lose or gain weight, and then maintain our success, the program must be intrinsic!

Your Body Knowledge System® begins with your relationship with your body. Renewing it, and re-establishing the open communication that began before birth, to guide you to achieving your goals. Especially the ones that go way beyond weight management.

Find out more….


What motivates you to action?

A reward, the carrot, or the threat of punishment, the stick?

Reward theory involves the promise of something pleasant when you reach your goal. Experts tell us the reward must be as soon as or shortly after the goal is reached to be effective. That works for some of us in some situations, but not all situations.

Or it doesn’t work at all.

  • Diets
  • Exercise programs
  • On the daily work experience
  • Social engagements
  • Sleep habits

For some of us, it’s the fear generated by the threat of punishment for failure to achieve the goal that motivates us to action.

Take a moment to consider the categories above and identify if you are a carrot or a stick motivatee.

In the Body Knowledge System® there is no place for negativity, regardless of what motivates the individuals who practice it. Body Confidence can not exist with fear, and your Body Knowledge System® banishes your fear.

Because you involve your BFF in pursuing your goals the experience is always positive, supportive, and reinforces your progress through your customized practice.

And the best news is every day you practice your Body Knowledge System® there is always an immediate reward in the gratification you share with your BFF. You both feel good, and often great!

Now, that’s Body Confidence!


Although freedom of speech is a first amendment right, at what point does my right to speak judgmentally about your body infringe on your freedom to pursue happiness in your own way?

A fundamental truth behind every remark anyone makes, is their reason for making it. If it’s negative in any way, it tells us more about the person making the remark than the truth of the statement. In this era of “fake news”, sloppy speech comes easy as there are apparently no damaging consequences to the speaker.

The blowback from recent fat shaming is the challenge of body acceptance vs personal health. The truth is “real women have curves” along with a heartbeat, legs, arms, and a digestive system. How those physical elements present themselves depends on genetics, education, and cultural value systems.

As Ashley Graham acknowledged in her newest book, “A New Model”, she owes a lot of her success to the women of color who have been valued in their cultures around the world since the beginning of time. Even though our culture pressures all women to resemble the impossible Barbie image, how we differ from that impossible to achieve icon does not detract from our feminity. puts it this way “We have a personal responsibility to ourselves to be happy. We have a responsibility to play the hand we’re dealt, challenge ourselves to be better and take action on improving our lives. Nowhere is there a place for insulting others.”



Last week on the “View” a kerfuffle occurred between two conservative on-air journalists referring to the “No Excuses” movement popular among new moms who are having trouble losing their “baby” weight. Since these women are on the same side of the political spectrum, what could go wrong?


Since they agree on politics, what was left to discuss?

Bodies, fat bodies, and not on politicians, no women’s bodies!

If you are an on-air personality, you are aware that the camera can add pounds to everyone’s body. However, men can cover it with a well-tailored suit, and more to the point, their value is not determined by the size of their bodies.

On the 50th anniversary of Barbie dolls becoming our cultural icon, apparently things haven’t changed as much we’d like in terms of our gender’s value to our culture.

After an off-hand remark by Megyn Kelly approving the “no excuses” fat shaming approach to motivation, she received so much negative backlash, she clarified her remarks the next day by insisting she loathes shaming of any kind directed at any body.

Meghan McCain whose response after the original comment indicated that Ms. Kelly was dead wrong, as she knows her size has nothing to do with her job performance, or the confidence she has in herself and her body.


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