"Dance is the hidden language of the Soul."


This week I want to present you with “The French Option.” Now, if your mind goes straight to carbs and wine . . . just hear me out!

Bringing Up Bebe

In her book, “Bringing up Bebe,” American journalist, Pamela Druckerman points out the differences between French women and American women when it comes to food and body image.

She suggests that American women are going about it all wrong…that we could really learn something from the intuitive approach French women have towards their bodies.

This thought is synchronistic with my Body Knowledge System® which promotes listening to your body bringing better results within your lifestyle choices.

Yesterday I took a walk with a young, American mom. She talked about food like it was an enemy. She compared herself to other women on the walking trail.

I couldn’t help but think that Druckerman was onto something.

The American Woman on a Walk


American women tend to have an all or nothing approach. Here are some examples I heard from my walking partner yesterday:

  • “See those women running? I could never run that fast so I just don’t even try.”
  • “If I ever did go for a run, it’d be toward some chocolate.”
  • “Oh, I can’t have a bag of chips in my house…I’d eat the whole thing”

The French Woman on a Walk


French women listen to their bodies. They indulge cravings in moderation and incorporate physical activity into their daily lives. If my walking partner had been French, here’s what I think she might’ve said:

  • “I don’t enjoy running, but I like to walk with friends and family.”
  • “See that ice cream shop over there? Sometimes I like to stop in and enjoy a scoop”
  • “I just have a few chips whenever I want them. That way I never feel deprived and eat the whole bag.”

You on a Walk

Do you see the difference?  With hardcore diets and exercise, failure is inevitable. With failure comes negative self-image and the cycle repeats itself.

Intuition and balance make life more enjoyable and success attainable. With a fuller life and achievable goals comes true body confidence.

Are you ready to break the cycle of negativity and find true happiness in your own body?

Download my free eBook today!

Over the past few weeks, we’ve asked the question, “Why are we even talking about body confidence?”

We’re talking about it because it provides true freedom for you in all areas of your life!

And we are very excited to see that someone in the fashion world truly embracing and promoting body confidence!




Fashion designer Michael Kors recently included a plus-size model (meaning a model beyond size 12) in his runway show! He also made some great comments about body confidence for women of all body types.

runway model


From the Huffington Post, Kors said:

“I don’t like it when the models all look the same,” he said at the time. “To me it’s so incredibly boring to turn them into mannequins; it’s so much more interesting if we have different ages, ethnicities, body types, heights.”

“The show was about strength and sensuality, and also about the diversity that we see here in New York that has inspired me my whole life,” he said. “There were models in their 20s, 30s, and 40s, models who are petite, tall, and curvy, models who are tomboys and others who are bombshells. My whole career, I’ve dressed a huge variety of people, because my job is to make everyone look great and feel more confident.”

How wonderful it was to see so many different body types gracefully moving down the runway.

We hope this is the beginning to giving all body types the confidence to see themselves reflected in models who represent “their” body!

Bravo Michael Kors for refusing to perpetuate the unhealthy eating disorder culture of modeling! He chose to promote the beauty of the diversity of various body types!




My friend your unique body confidence matters.  And I want to help you.

Why not start with my 2nd edition eBook, Five Easy Steps to a Better Body Image.

You can also listen to some of my radio shows (only ½ hour each) with Debi Talbert to give you the experience of my Body Knowledge System ® with the sprinkling of Law of Attraction principles.  Download here. 

Both of these offerings share some of the information you need to get past the decades of low body confidence you’ve experienced.

It’s time to take control, take charge of becoming the confident woman our body wants us to be.

You might ask yourself, ‘what makes Stephanie think about bikini apparel during the Winter season?’

Because the essence of body confidence is unique and private and as your Body Confidence Coach I find that reviewing head on what might be getting in your way of better body confidence for yourself are cultural taboos such as wearing or not wearing a bikini. Read on…

Did you know that I coach women over the age of 50 to help them have better body confidence?

(By the way . . . you don’t have to be 50+ to experience my coaching skills )

**I saw an article about a bikini contest in China, and it got me asking a few questions. I want to share my thoughts with you and hear what you think too!




According to the Huffington Post, over 500 women participated in this year’s event in China.

A 68-year-old participant said, “Who said we are too old for bikinis?”

And get this… the oldest participant was 80-years-old!




Okay, here are my thoughts…

  • On the positive side - it’s encouraging to see women getting out and being confident in their bodies!
  • On the negative side - why is there so much pressure on women to look good in bikinis??
For years now… we’ve heard that if you don’t look good in a bikini, you’re not worth anything.

And that is ridiculous.

Who says you have to look good in a bikini, or even wear one at all?

Who gets to decide these things?

Our Culture?

Or you and your body?

Why not promote swimwear that works for all kinds of bodies?

Ask yourself – What would make *me* feel confident?

And then find clothes that are in line with that.

Find clothing that makes *you* feel confident.

Again, don’t let culture tell you that you’re only worth something if you look good in a bikini.

Listen to the voices in your head… and learn to laugh with them!

If you’re a woman who feels good in a bikini, go for it!

But what if you don’t?

Should you work and work until you do?

Wear one anyway?

Find something else?

What do the voices in your head say about that?




So… I want to know:

What do *you* think?

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and help you work through any questions you might have.

Post your comments below.


This week I want to talk to anyone who is sick and tired of reading blog posts that tell you a bunch of information but don’t actually help you implement anything.

You been there before? You read something, you feel sort of empowered or encouraged for a few hours, but then nothing changes.

You fall into the same old patterns and habits.

You read more blog posts. Nothing changes.

If you’re sick and tired of this cycle… if you’re ready to see real change… if you’re ready to experience true body confidence, no matter your age…

Let’s just cut to the chase.

hug yourselfFor women over 50 who want to embrace their body confidence, a system DOES exist about HOW to gain confidence in a practical way.

In Chapter Five of my book, Body Knowledge System®, I explain the Four (4) Body Knowledge System ® Styles: Organized, Analytical, Spontaneous, and Inspirational.

After years of observing and working with my clients, I developed the following Body Knowledge System® Styles. Circle each one that applies to you.  Give it a try right now! 

Let’s us know in the comments below!


  • You are at your best when everything has an order.
  • You are punctual. You are committed to being on time.
  • You like rules and routines.
  • You are happiest when you feel organized.
  • You take on projects first by setting a schedule and establishing a routine.
  • You like keeping a journal or a log. It’s important to you to track daily progress.


  • You love complexity. You don’t shy away from it. Rather, you like to take a concept, break it down and study it.
  • You enjoy working out problems and learning the principles and theories behind them.
  • Your goal is to be competent at whatever you do.
  • You love a challenge.
  • You are imaginative, but you like for things to make sense.
  • You are most receptive to a new experience when Everything is explained to you.
  • You like to have numbers and facts to back up statements and beliefs.


  • You see life as fun. You like to play.
  • Your strategy is always changing.
  • You are not attracted to organized rules, and you don’t like complicated rules.
  • You will follow rules if they are simple.
  • You are willing to change the rules if circumstances change.
  • You need the reasons you do things to be natural.
  • You like to do things at the spur of the moment.
  • You love people. You are motivated by activities with people.


  • You like to create an environment that puts other individuals in a position to learn or take action.
  • You like it that others look to you for inspiration.
  • You are creative.
  • You are concerned about helping others’ personal growth.
  • You gravitate toward mind-body principles.
  • You like to believe anything is possible.
  • You are at your best when you focus on the positive.

Once you understand which styles are a good fit, you’ll be able to embrace your strengths in a practical way. :-)

The Body Knowledge System® is a map, a map that you make your own.

How to Attract Your Better Body Image with Coaching

What Else

Everyone knows the first answer to a personal question is rarely the best answer rather it’s the answer that comes off the top of your head when asked anything about yourself. For instance, “How are you?”, “Fine, or good, or OK” are the standard responses whether we have a fever of 101*, just received a speeding ticket, or are nervous about an upcoming job interview. To get to the central issue requires a few follow up questions, i.e. “really?”, “You don’t look ‘ok’”, or “Why are you sweating? It’s chilly in here.”

Your Best Friend would ask you those follow up questions. I know one thing for sure, when talking to yourself about your body, there is NEVER a follow up question, because you think you already know all of the answers about your own body, and some of those answers leave you feeling bad and therefore are not right.

In my years of coaching experience, I understand the hesitation in prying into those nooks and crannies of a painful past, shameful self-image, or reluctance to change behavior. However, if improving your body positive image was easy, there wouldn’t be all of those articles, interviews, speeches from celebrities and others about body pressure to be perfect. Not a perfect you, rather a perfect beauty like those you see in the media.


Few of us have the courage or confidence to stand alone against the social pressures aimed at selling us perfection through various products and services, and yet, when we buy into that marketing, the results are like putting lipstick on a cat. The lipstick may be a beautiful color, applied artfully, and enhances the skin tone—but the lips still belong to a cat! It’s not enough to succumb to other people’s standards for other people for you to achieve confidence; the only way to have the presence confidence inspires is to discover it within yourself. That’s where your body has the knowledge to create the poise you seek. Now all you need do is access it.

The good news is you are not alone. You are not alone in your frustration to elevate your confidence through a better body image; not alone in feeling shame around those extra pounds; not alone in the fear that arrives with every new candle on your birthday cake; and not alone as soon as you make a habit of including your body in your everyday life. I mean learning to talk to her, listen to her, and share with her on a regular basis.

Until you master your personal body knowledge system, you will be missing all the benefits your body brings to everyday of your life. And that’s where a Coach comes in to guide you, support you, and help you accept yourself for the wonderful unique individual you are! When done well, it’s not a painful process rather it’s a delightful journey to self-discovery.

“And what else?” is there to the process…

“And what else?” is the body positive question to ask when you want to get to clarity. It’s the one question you should be asking yourself, and probably aren’t, in order to clarify how you and your body want to be in the world. Using the Law of Attraction, the practitioner identifies what she really wants for herself through the contrast to clarity process as it applies only to herself, not to some idealized version of someone else.

When you accept your body as your friend, in fact your bff (best friend forever), it’s a short step to feeling good about your appearance.

Friendship implies acceptance, as well as a sincere desire to want what’s in your friend’s best interest. Applying the contrast to clarity Law of Attraction principle works when you arrive at the answer that satisfies both of you, you and your body.

To achieve your positive body image faster:

  • Include your body in the conversation
  • Include the powerful question, “And What Else?” into the process
  • Practice feeling good about yourself daily

PS: what begins on the inside, shows on the outside.

I encourage you to include your body in your search for clarity.

After attending my popular class by phone, ‘Resist exercise? Want to know Why?,’ my client Martha called to ask me to help her find an exercise or exercises that would work for her, long term.

“It’s not about “Just Do It!” I said quoting Nike’s famous slogan, “It’s about asking your body what she wants to do to accomplish the same thing.” I truly believe that when you learn to ask your body what she wants, the two of you will get on the same page, and start achieving the things you desire!

Using the contrast to clarity principle to narrow the possibilities, getting the answers from Martha and her body, we determined what movement suited BOTH of them to achieve a positive body image.

For instance:

  • What movement makes you feel good?
  • Do you prefer working out alone, with another or others?
  • When do you enjoy exercise?

Let’s take the first question: What makes you feel good?

  1. Sitting, and what else?
  2. Walking, and what else?
  3. Stretching, and what else?
  4. Floating, and what else?
  5. Scuba, and what else?

Soon, it became apparent that Martha was not into anything involving exertion, or sweat or at least, her answers didn’t indicate “exercise” in the physical sense of the word. So, it was time to include her body in the conversation.

After getting used to the idea of her body as separate, an equal, and full of great advice, Martha asked her body the same question:

What movement makes you feel good?

  1. Moving gracefully, and what else?
  2. Dancing, and what else?
  3. Winning!, and what else?
  4. Swimming underwater, and what else?
  5. Body tired from productive motion, i.e dancing, tennis, Scuba

Aha! Martha’s body held the final answer for both of them: Productive movement, with or without an element of competition.

The second part of the important question is…..Listening for an answer

In personal and professional relationships, we all know the first answer is not the only answer, and rarely the best answer. That’s why remembering the question – And what else? as a follow up question always provides deeper answers until you reach the heart of the issue.

Listening for your body’s answer to the powerful question, “And What Else?” requires another shift in your perspective. It forces you to listen for the answer from your body rather than override her input with your first, second, or third response. Where your body image comes from is more than your thoughts and feelings about your body, it begins within your body and it’s time or past time you begin to listen to her to get to the final answer for both of you.

As comfortable as you are being in control of your life, include your body by asking her this follow up question so that you are forced to relinquish your power over her as you await her answer.  Better body image coaching is not an either/or, black/white, yes/no process between two opposing entities who have not communicated with each other since childhood. Rather it is a process of reestablishing the intimate relationship between you and your body you had as an infant—the most effective and efficient way to activate the Law of Attraction.

The answers to this question are between you and your very best friend, your body. So there’s no need to shy away from the difficult questions about what you want for your body, and perhaps are “afraid” to ask? The basic principle of improving your body image through coaching is total trust and ease of communication between you and your body. The openness between whatever question you ask of your body and the answers you receive will create the positive energy to actually accomplish your basic goal: Body Confidence.

Look Forward to Attracting, then Announcing Your Positive Body Image

Working with a body image expert coach can provide a short cut to the process of accepting your body as your Best Friend. Allowing the coach to repeat “And what else?” until you provide the real answer to the question in the safety of the relationship eases the transition to establishing the intimate relationship you and your body had at birth. Working with your body you understand what you do not want (contrast) and you become clear on what you do want and that clarity attracts it easily. When you include your body in the process, you double the positive energy behind your unified efforts to reach the same goal.

The simple tool, the question ‘and what else?’ allows you to go beyond the superficial into the heart of your desires, not someone else’s desires for you. Acknowledge your individuality when applying the Law of Attraction to achieving what you want out of life, when your goals are authentic and true to you, that positive energy glows!

“You must have been a beautiful baby,

You must have been a wonderful child.”

-Johnny Mercer

begins at birth

You were born with the best body image possible. At birth your thoughts were without judgment.  Your thoughts were pure expressions of what your body communicated in the moment. Happy, alert, warm, comfortable, and safe feelings sent by your body directly to your brain and expressed directly by your body. As pure ego, your vibration operated at an extremely high level, because of the purity of that positive communication between your body and your brain.  You expressed your positive feelings through your body’s contentment.

As an innocent beautiful baby, you attracted attention naturally. All you had to do was “be”, simply exist. Then, your appearance was more than accepted, it attracted positive attention from everyone. Regardless of what you wore or how much you weighed, your presence on the planet inspired smiles and warmth from everyone around you. You and your body were one, united in survival and growth. In order to make that happen, you smiled, cooed, giggled, drooled and batted your eyes at your caregivers.

How does this relate to your body image as an adult?

As an adult, our survival depends only on ourselves, not our caregivers.

To bring back that pure high vibration of infancy, reunite with your body to strengthen your presence in your world. The Body Knowledge System® teaches the importance of reuniting with your body to improve your body image through a simple process designed to increase your health and well being. Because each of us is unique, you are in charge of your process. As you progress in the Body Knowledge System® you will feel more energy at a higher vibration every day of your practice.


Body Knowledge System® Brings You Back to You

The basic principle in the Body Knowledge System® is ending the estrangement between you and your body. Reuniting you with your body is as easy as re-establishing the open communication you were born with—the energy that raised your vibration so positively as an infant.

Most of us live our lives unaware of our body’s importance, until something goes wrong. Illness, injury, or chronic pain gets our immediate attention, and as our body’s caregiver THEN we divert our attention to remedying the situation. Perhaps our lack of constant communication with our bodies allowed us to miss her earlier attempts at alerting us of an imbalance that resulted in this distraction.

Holistic and integrative medical theory supports the importance of considering the entire person when considering treatment for illness or injury. Logically, whole body unity should contribute to improving our daily lives as well.

The Body Knowledge System® approaches the concept of body image from the holistic point of view. In order to improve our body image, the first step is going within to raise our personal vibration. As in all things pertaining to the Law of Attraction, it occurs in the present and produces results in the future.

“You must have been a beautiful baby,

Cos, baby look at you now!” Johnny Mercer

Begin your path back to your birthright, the best body image that will ignite your high level of energy to carry you through and with all of what you desire for yourself and others.

 I believe you are ready to read my Ebook: 5 Easy Steps to a Better Body Image.


As I’m sure you know the Rio Summer Olympics have come to a close after revealing the extraordinary men and women from all over the world who have dedicated themselves to their sport of choice and to the care of their bodies creating magnificent achievements.




Recently, I came across an interesting article about a former Olympian swimmer, Misty Hyman, now an assistant swim coach at Arizona State.

Here’s what interested me from the article:

As a young girl, Misty Hyman thought athleticism equated to attractiveness. She believed being strong was beautiful.  Hyman, who would grow up to become an Olympic gold medalist swimmer, didn’t realize her personal beliefs about beauty didn’t align with society’s until her teenage years — and then the realization hit hard.

Coach Hyman saw her body shape as beautiful and strong… until the outside world told her differently!

What a tragedy that is… that we would let the outside world tell us that our bodies aren’t strong and beautiful.




Today, I want to coach you to embrace – and even love – your body’s shape.  Here’s a quote from some other women swimmers talking about how they’ve done just that:

“It’s something that we make fun of now,” Franklin said. “We all joke about how we eat 5,000 calories a day. We joke about how we can’t fit into anything with our shoulders and how we’re breaking through the seams of shirts.

“Everyone knows what it’s like, and everyone’s also at that point now where we all understand that our bodies are our greatest gift and our greatest asset in the sport that we do every day. We’re all just going to own it.”




“Are our body image issues different from a woman’s Olympic swimming team?”

No, not really.  As women, we are all involved in some kind of ‘sport’ whether it is with our friends, our family, and our career. We can label our sport as being a mom or a CEO or championing ourselves and our friends.

As a former dancer I have witnessed firsthand body image issues which influenced me to become a Body Knowledge System ® Coach specializing in the challenges that women muddle through.  My goal was to enhance their lifestyles and bring forth into the world what they want to express without feeling inhibited in their body.

Misty’s challenge was that although her body was that of an Olympic swimmer’s, it did not necessarily conform to society’s idea of “perfection.  Misty had to overcome her own perceptions of what body shape should look like and a healthy relationship with her body.


Here’s How You Can Begin


As women, we need to see the value of who we are in the world and not worry about how the media expects us to live up to certain advertised body images (not that you shouldn’t look the best you can).

Today, I’d like to share with you my empowering “5 Easy Steps to a Better Body Image” Ebook!

Within our media driven culture, even our athletes are bombarded with what the “right” type of body should look like.  But we are all unique.

Take a stand with me and my body and your bodies and change our mindset!

My Body Knowledge System® gives you practical steps to define yourself with better body confidence and abandon body shaming.  We owe it to ourselves.

So download my new eBook today.  It’s a short read of only 33 pages for $7.95.  Start today!

And I’d love to hear about any difficulties you’ve have with embracing your body’s shape.

As women, we need to see that the value of who we are in the world and not be dependent of how the media expects us all to live up to certain advertised body images (not that you shouldn’t look the best you can).  Personally, my body shape is ever changing and during the past year I have been compelled to speak out.

Today, I’d like to share with you my empowering “5 Fast Steps to a Better Body Image” Ebook!


Within our tabloid culture (of which are 63% male writers) we are bombarded with the same type of body images to emulate and follow.  The same habitual messages of how we (yes! us women) should look are perpetuated everywhere we turn.  This tabloid culture is motivated to use the same tactics around defining women solely on their appearance because the articles and pictures sell!

I am taking a stand for my Body and I want for you to stand by me and your bodies. Let us contribute to this movement together.

First step!  Change your mindset!

My Body Knowledge System® gives you practical steps to define yourself with better inner body confidence messages and abandon feeding into any body shaming.  We owe it to ourselves.

So download my new eBook today.  It’s a short read of only 33 pages for $7.95.  Start today!

Love the body you have

I have been exploring the notion of creating a better body image and have become more aware of how advertising influences our self-esteem with our bodies with negative and positive messages.

My questions to you are:

  • Has your body been sending you messages about health issues?
  • Are you just experiencing day to day aches and pains?
  • Or, do you accept the way you look and the other relationships in your life are flowing?

Whether it is aches and pains or joyful moments, let’s go on this better body image journey together and explore techniques and tools for creating good self-esteem.


The Truth about Self Esteem


Self Esteem: it is a way of thinking, feeling and acting that implies that you accept, respect, trust, and believe in yourself.


Consider these beliefs

(from Body Knowledge System®)


  • Respect your own uniqueness
  • Be your own Best Friend (treat yourself like you would treat others)
  • When outside environmental challenges come your way , you maintain consistency with your own values that make you happy
  • You deserve everything that makes you happy
  • You learn to practice confidence to do things your way

This is wonderful to read on paper but let’s start using tools and techniques to practice and make these beliefs a part of your daily lifestyle.

believe yourself

A technique you can practice right away is the Body Knowledge Dance®. You can do this in your living room or in your head.

  1. Set an intention in words. For example: I love being in tune with my body and what she is telling me.
  2. Picture your intention
  3. Now literally “move with the words” (just move freely)
  4. Imagine what you are wearing and the music you are hearing in your mind
  5. Commit this dance to memory so you can dance the movement in your head

The Body Knowledge System® has been created to address your body Image issues and help you practice on a daily basis simple and fun techniques to boost your self-esteem. Self-esteem and better body image go hand in hand

Today, I invite you to answer three questions. Answering these questions can give you a better sense of how you can create the self- esteem that will guide you to do all the things you set out to do.

Remember, my system is sustainable because it is NOT a ‘one size fits all.’ You create your own better body image on your own terms and in your own way.

This week I’m launching my “Natural Beauty Series” where we’ll look at natural beauty as it relates to several areas of your life.

Today, we start with makeup.

Do you wear makeup?

If so, why? If not, why not?

Clients and friends are following my lead by ditching makeup and exploring the “Natural Beauty” option.

And guess what? They’ve found it to be incredibly freeing. Read on to learn more about it.



In the conventional option, beauty is reliant upon external and cultural standards for how a woman should look.

From billboards to magazines to commercials on TV, we’ve seen the media prop up a standard for how women should look. That’s unfortunate, and it’s left a lot of women feeling trapped, feeling like they have to look a certain way (maybe you feel that way, too).

In the natural option, beauty is all about your body’s free expression of herself.

And really, this is all about being yourself. About being comfortable in your own skin. Learning to look in the mirror and go out confidently to approach the day.

Now, this isn’t to say you can’t take advice from external sources, but the Natural Beauty option will free you from comparing yourself to those sources!

I believe that self acceptance – in a more natural way – could be an option for you!



One day, I realized a few things:

  1. Putting on – and taking off – makeup every single day just isn’t fun.
  2. I wasn’t doing it for myself… I was doing it because that’s what I was expected to do.
  3. The world didn’t come crashing down simply because I didn’t wear eyeliner one day.

My message for you today is this: listen to what your body is trying to tell you about makeup. For me, it was incredibly freeing to not worry with it every morning and every night… maybe it will be for you too!

Again – if you’re feeling trapped by the conventional option, the natural option can set you free!


We’ll be looking at natural beauty in other areas of your life over the coming weeks.

In the meantime, are you someone who feels trapped by external standards of beauty? Do you feel pressured to make yourself look a certain way every day?

Are you ready to experience the freedom of the Natural Beauty approach? Share your comments below.

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